Monday, June 25, 2012

Home Visit #2

I have not felt this relieved in many months.

We had our second home visit this morning.  I woke up anxious and nervous.  I was worried, not about what our adoption counselor would say about our house, but rather what she would have to say about where we are in the process and what comes next for us.  I was nervous to show her our finished books and to hand her all of the remaining items that we had ready for her.  I was nervous she would have a problem with something or that she would make just one last suggestion.

Anyway, she arrived and sat down with us in the living room.  She went through why she was there and then basically asked us if we had any questions.  I decided that this would be a good time to tell her that we had everything ready to be done with the process.  I had conveniently placed a pile of things on our dining room table.  It was everything that we needed to hand her.  I brought over the five copies of our long profile books, an envelope containing the thirteen copies of our short letters, the last check that we need to give in order to be put on the wait list, and an envelope with the things that are needed for our online profile.  I brought everything over to her and I think it made a big impact.  As soon as I gave it all to her, she told us that when she brought the finished home study report to her supervisor TODAY, she would tell her that while she had not been ready in time, we were completely ready to go.  She then said that we would be on the wait list as soon as the end of this week!  Now, to me that means that perhaps in two weeks we will be on the wait list, but either way, I am beyond excited.

The best part is that she asked if she could look through our book and letter and SHE LOVED THEM!!! She said that the long profile book was fantastic and she was thrilled with the way everything turned out.  I was so happy that we decided not to wait any longer for her approval.  We knew that we had a good profile and I was so glad that we trusted our guts and just went ahead and got everything finished.

After that, she wanted to take a quick walk around the house and that is exactly what she did.  She didn't ask about anything, didn't even make us test the smoke detectors this time.  And then she left.  For this first time, I felt really good after meeting with her.  I felt hopeful that this phase of the process was coming to an end.  I felt excited at the thought that we would soon be on the wait list.

So now we wait. Hopefully, just a little bit longer.  She is supposed to send us a draft of the finished report tonight and then we just have to approve it and we will be one step closer.  I hope to have the good news soon that we are on the wait list.  The best feeling right now is that there is nothing else that we have to get done.  There are no items left on the checklist. Nothing left to finish.  So please keep your fingers crossed and hope that soon this phase of our adoption journey will come to a close.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

One More Time...

And so the saga continues...

Today Carla had knee surgery. I was sitting in the waiting room and my cell phone rang. I let it go through to voicemail as I wasn't too keen on dealing with anything until Carla was out of surgery. However, as soon as I listened to the voicemail and heard that it was from our adoption counselor, I knew I had to call her immediately. I felt like if I didn't call soon, who knows when I would next be able to get a hold of her.

So I went outside and called her back. I should have known to expect something, but this (on top of the fact that I was in the middle of waiting for Carla to finish surgery) almost pushed me over the edge. Our counselor went on to tell me that she still was not finished with our home study report and because she had not finished it within thirty days of the home visit, she was going to have to do ANOTHER home visit. No apology. No real taking of responsibility. She just told me that she would have to come back to the house, because she didn't finish the home study report in time.

Then, to top it off, she told me that since we still weren't done with our profile, this would be a good time to sit down and go over it. So clearly, she had NOT read the email that I sent her which explained that we were indeed finished. So, I explained to her that we were, in fact, done with our profile and that our books would be arriving today (which they did!). I was so happy that we had made the decision to just be done, because I truly believe that at this point, she is just using our unfinished letter to make it okay that she hasn't finished her stuff yet. I couldn't imagine now waiting for her to give us even more feedback and then making more changes.

So, we now have another home visit scheduled for early Monday morning. Now as Carla recovers from knee surgery, we have to worry about getting the house ready for another visit. Now that we are so ready to be finished with all of this, we have to wait for another home visit. It is getting harder to accept this as just part of the process. But we feel so stuck because we don't want to say anything that will make her think poorly of us and we don't want to do anything that will make this process take any longer.

I managed to sound upbeat on the phone and I believe that I was able to hide much of my frustration from her. Part of me wants her to know how frustrated I am, but the other part of me just wants to be done and I feel like if I can just keep us moving, that will be the fastest way to get done with this part of the process. I then walked back into the waiting room, texted my sister, and sat alone stewing over the conversation.

I told myself that I couldn't bother Carla with this right away. She was coming out of surgery and anesthetic after all. But, in typical Jess fashion, as soon as they let me back to see her and I saw that she was still in one piece, I tried to tell her about the conversation I had with our counselor. There she is, under heavy medication, with an IV still in her arm, and I am trying to explain to her my newest frustration. After listening the best she could and trying to tell me it would be okay, she said, "Jess, they are monitoring my heart rate and blood pressure, I don't think I can talk about this anymore." Point well taken.

So we are now back home. Carla is doing well. I am a bit calmer. Our new home visit is scheduled. My plan is to have EVERYTHING ready to give to our counselor when we see her on Monday. I will have our final check ready, the books with our long profile, the shorter letters, and all the stuff for the online profile. I will hand it all to her and hopefully, hopefully, soon we will be on the wait list.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Next Blog Post for It's Conceivable

Hi all!

Here is the link to my newest blog post for the website It's Conceivable.  The post goes back through what happened with our adoption counselor after the first draft and what has continued to happen since.  Let's just say that I am certainly now feeling the angst of this process, but continue to remind myself that it is all going to be worth it in the end.

Here is the link: