Introducing...Our Daughter

I can't believe that I am about to write this post.

We did it.

Yesterday we brought home our daughter, Millicent (we'll call her Millie).  She was born on January 1st.  Here is our beautiful little girl:

All bundled up and ready to go home!

To tell the whole story of what has taken place the past three weeks would be impossible.  I hated having to keep it all so secret, but what this process has taught us is that nothing is ever certain until it is certain and that did not happen until yesterday afternoon.  I couldn't stand the thought of sharing the news here if things didn't end up working out. But they did! And she is here.  Here are the highlights of what has taken place the past three weeks:

On Thursday, January 10th we found out that our profile was going to be one of five profiles being seen by a birth family.

On Wednesday, January 16th our profile was actually given to the birth family.

On Tuesday, January 22nd we were chosen by the birth family and told we would meet with them.

On Monday, January 28th we met Millie's incredible birth parents.

On Wednesday, January 30th we were told that the birth parents wanted to sign the surrender papers on Thursday and if that happened, we would take her home.

On Thursday, January 31st we anxiously awaited to find out what would happen and at 10:48 am we found out that the papers had been signed and we could come and bring our daughter home.

There is no way to even begin to describe what it has been like.  The anxiety that we have faced the past few weeks sometimes felt impossible.  The joy that we have felt in the past two days sometimes also feels impossible. We have gone back and forth from one extreme to another so many times and it has all been so incredible.

There is so much to be said. However, since I am having trouble focusing on any one thing for too long, I cannot possibly say it all right now.  What I can say is this:

Thank you.

Thank you to the people that I don't even know who have read along with us on this journey.  For those of you who have given support.  Who have cheered along with us.  Who have in any small way been inspired by our story.  Who have reached out just to let us know you were listening.  Thank you will never really convey the gratitude that I have for all of you.

Thank you to the people that I do know.  Who have stepped up in such incredible ways to be there for us throughout this journey.  To my family, my friends, and my coworkers who have listened to me cry and who have given us words of encouragement when we needed them.  To those of you who were just there for us.  To those of you who understood when I needed to pull away or needed to shut down for a little bit.  Thank you, again, will never express what it has meant to both Carla and I to have all of you in our lives.

Thank you to the people who have stepped up and swooped in these past few days to help us get our home ready for our daughter.  Thank you to my parents whose generosity is matched by nothing else in this world.  Thank you to my family and friends who jumped at the chance to help us prepare for the coming of our Millie.  Thank you to the people who have brought gifts and kind words.  We have been touched by it all and it has meant more than you will ever know.  Because of all of you, our baby will not go naked or hungry or be dirty.  Because of all of you, we will no longer have to use a garbage bag as a hamper.

Thank you to the parents of my students who made me feel like it was okay to leave their children for a little bit to take care of my own.

Thank you to my coworkers who went out of their way to make sure that I could essentially drop everything at school and still know that my students were going to be okay.

Thank you to my wife.  I am at a total loss of words to say to you.  You are amazing.  I am lucky.  I think that is all I can say for now.

And the final thank you is to those of you who are still hanging in through your own journeys towards parenthood.  For you to be able to share in our joy is something incredible.  I know how hard it can be to hear of other people's families growing when you are struggling still to create your own.  I can only hope that in some small way, our story can give you just the smallest bit of reassurance that it will all work out one day in the exact way it is supposed to.  And in the meantime, it is okay to be angry and jealous and bitter.  Be all those things. You deserve it.  And also remember, in some tiny part of your brain, that one day you too will have this incredible news to share.

So we are now the family of three that I have desperately wanted to be for some time.  I am just trying to soak it all in.  I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures of our darling daughter, Millie.

Carla, Millie and I ready to head home for the very first time.

Millie is ready to go home!

My beautiful wife and my beautiful daughter. 

The dog quickly found her new place on the couch. 

Millie meeting my sister, her aunt, for the first time.

Just hanging out with Mommy. 

Enjoying the her new toys. 

And enjoying her new dog. 

That's all for now.  I am off to enjoy my incredible family.