Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Our First, Second Anniversary

Confusing title, huh?

Well, today is the FIRST of our SECOND anniversaries.  Yep.  We have two wedding anniversaries.  I guess that is the silver lining of not having the same legal rights as other couples in this country? Two years ago today, my wife and I were legally married outside of the Flavor Graveyard at the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Factory in Vermont.  Because Illinois did not, and still does not, grant same-sex marriages, we had to leave our home state to get legally married.  So, the week before our Chicago wedding (the one with the big party and lots of cupcakes), we travelled to Vermont and were married by my very best friend and my sister in this perfect, small ceremony at the happiest place on earth (in my opinion).  It was perfect.

And is two years later.  Two years later and I am more in love with my wife than I ever have been before.  Because now I love her as my wife and I also get to love her as Millie's Mama.  She makes one incredible wife, and she also make the most incredible Mama.  She is everything to Millie.  One minute she will be tossing Millie up and down to make her laugh harder than she ever laughs and the next minute she will be softly rubbing her head to help her calm down and fall asleep.  She teaches Millie about the world and she has more energy for Millie than any other human being that I know.  No matter how long her day was or how tired she is when she wakes up, she greets Millie with the warmest smile and the most loving embrace.  It is amazing.  I feel lucky.

These two years have been filled with so many moment.  Incredible, life changing moments.  Heartwarming, joyous moments. Heartbreaking moments.  Moments that made us laugh so hard that we couldn't breathe.  Moments when we questioned what the hell we were doing.  Moments when it felt like we were in the exact right place, at the exact right time.  These moments have filled our years with so much and it makes me so excited to think about all the moments that are still to come.

So how did we celebrate? Well, this morning we both got to play with Millie before I had to leave for work.  That was a plus.  Tonight, Carla is closing at work, she left us a delicious smelling crock pot dish that has filled our home with a delightful smell.  I am cooking rice so we can eat as soon as Carla gets home.  And when she gets home we will probably watch an episode of Chicago Fire.  And then we will crawl into bed and we will have less room than normal because it is getting cold here in Chicago and that means that our cat, Jellybean, sleeps in the bed with us.  And we will all fall asleep.  As a family.  And nothing. Nothing. Could be better.

I will leave you now with a few pictures from our wedding in Vermont.

Our ceremony took place under this delightful gazebo with our friends and family huddled inside. 

There could have been no more perfect setting than an ice cream factory for our wedding. 

We got to be Ben and Jerry!

We then took our fancy selves on the Ice Cream Factory Tour.  This was our tour guide.  The people at Ben and Jerry's were so so nice.  They let us get married there for no cost AND they gave us the tour for free and even threw in a free scoop of ice cream for everyone at the wedding (there were 12 of us!). Not only do they make the world's best ice cream, they are the kindest kind of people.  
So, today, two years after we left our own state so that we could get legally married, the Illinois congress is getting ready to go back to work in session that might possibly have the chance to vote on a same-sex marriage bill.  Yesterday, the streets of Springfield were filled with people marching in support of this bill.  Today, those same streets were filled with people who oppose the bill and hope that it doesn't come to pass.  Me? I loved our wedding in Vermont, but if I could have, I would have chosen to be able to get married here, in our home state, in a heartbeat.  Just because we made the best of it, doesn't mean that I was okay with it.  I will never be okay with the fact that we are still not seen as equal here in Illinois.  So while we celebrate this day, I hold a small space in my heart of sadness and a bigger space of hope thinking about why we had to leave Illinois and also thinking about what is possibly to come.


  1. Aww, happy first second anniversary! I didn't know they do B&J factory tours - we are SO planning a trip there! xx

  2. Happy Anniversary! (We also have two anniversary/ wedding dates, but for a different reason.)

  3. Happy Belated Anniversary
    Looks and sounds like a great family....tons of love have so much to smile about.