Sunday, August 21, 2011

How much information is too much information?

So now that Carla and I have made the decision to go forward on this road to adoption, I have started to do what any good, nerd for life would do.  I have started to read everything that I can get my hands on about adoption.  I have bought three books, checked out books from the library, and spent countless hours researching gay and lesbian adoption online.

The sad truth, however, is that there is not much current information about gay and lesbian adoption out there.  Much of what I have found is outdated and the danger there is that even just a few years ago, gay and lesbian adoption seemed to be a pretty difficult thing.  So much of what I have read in books tells me that there is no way that a gay or lesbian couple can adopt a newborn baby.  And while I am so glad that there are people in this world who have the kind of hearts that they want to adopt older children, it is just not right for us.  So I end up starting to read a lot of things and then putting them away when I start to get discouraged.

Carla is amazing.  She is so positive about the process and believes in her heart that we are going to end up with a child who is just right for us.  While I wish I could get myself into that mindset, I just end up so discouraged when I read about the difficulties of the adoption process.   I keep alternating between telling myself that I just need to stop reading until we actually go and talk to an adoption agency and telling myself that in order to be successful in this adoption process, I have to read every bit of information that is out there.  I imagine that there has to be some good middle ground.  I know that there are some people in our lives that we need to talk to, people who have been through this process before.  I just don't know if I am ready for that yet.  I wonder if there are better resources out there than the ones I have been looking at.  I am open for any and all suggestions.

In the meantime, I go back to work tomorrow after being off for the summer.  A classroom full of fifth graders is probably just what I need to take my mind off of things for a while.  In addition, our weddings are right around the corner and I am so excited to finally be Carla's wife.  I am glad that there is so much going on in my life right now because it gives me some time to relax and just enjoy life before really going full force into the adoption process.

Again, if anyone should happen to find their way to this silly little blog of mine and has any good resources on gay and lesbian adoption, please send them my way and know that I will be eternally grateful!

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