Wednesday, March 14, 2012

An Individual Interview

What a day! I just got home from my individual interview with our adoption counselor and since Carla is still at work and I have no one at home to debrief with other than the cats and dog, I figured I would blog about it.

Let me begin by saying that my meeting was scheduled for 4:00 today.  I work about 30 minutes away from the adoption agency and school gets out at 3:15.  Technically, we are not supposed to leave until 3:45, but I took some creative license and excused myself early.  Normally, the last few minutes of the day are not all that stressful and I can get ready to get out when I need to.  Today, however, was a little but more of an adventure.  We walked over to the junior high to be the audience for the dress rehearsal of their musical.  The musical ran late and we had to run the kids back to school and hurriedly get ready for them to get on their busses and go home.  Luckily we made it with minutes to spare, but it was certainly a stressful end to the day.  So I was already a bit harried when getting in my car.  I had about 40 minutes to get to the adoption agency.  And since I can't get anywhere without getting lost, I took a few wrong turns.  So I pulled up to the agency just a few moments early, which to me feels like being late.  Luckily, our counselor was running late so I had a few minutes to do some deep breathing.

It was strange to be at the agency without Carla.  We have gone through every single step of this process as a team and it was weird to be there without her.  I can't say that I was really nervous for the interview, but, as usual, I had no idea what to expect.  Our counselor came out and we went into the same room we have had all of our other meetings in.  It is starting to feel comfortable there.  We spent the next hour and a half talking about a myriad of things.  We covered my childhood, my schooling, what I do for fun, how I take care of myself, religion, beliefs on parenting, and I don't even remember what else.

There was certainly nothing scary about the interview. In fact, most of the conversation was enjoyable.  Every so often though, I thought about how strange it was that I was being asked to explain how I planned to parent when there won't even be a child in my life for quite a while.  I thought about how most people get to formulate their thinking about parenting as they are parenting. There were moments that I just felt unqualified to answer some of the questions she was asking.  I don't know why, but I left with sort of a frustrated feeling.  I am thankful that we have the chance to think about these things now and I know I have to just get it out of my head that there is some right answer that they are looking for.  I am proud of what I have to share about my life and where I have come from and I suppose that needs to be enough.

Carla goes for her interview tomorrow and I am looking forward to hearing her take on it.  She is usually the more positive one about these things and I suppose part of my feelings have to do with the fact that she wasn't there to reassure me that everything went well.  Perhaps tomorrow things will seem different.

One of the big pieces of our talk today was going through where we are in the process and what we have left in the process.  Through our discussion we made a tentative plan to be done with the home study and paperwork by May.  The last class that we will need is on May 5th and so hopefully that will be the last step in this process.  It's good to know that there is an end in sight as this can all feel never ending at times.  I know that we are anxious to be done with this phase and I know that other people in our lives are ready for us to be officially "waiting" as well.  It is nice to know that it will happen soon enough.

Well, I suppose that is it for now.  I am off to take the dog for a long walk and enjoy the nice weather.


  1. Glad it went well! I've been finding myself trying to answer parenting questions that I won't need forever, too. How to discipline your pre-teen? I've read the book. I think it's better to go in with a basic idea of what might happen and how you want to deal with it so when it does you don't just react without any preparation. But it must be stressful to feel like someone is grading you based on those answers, since clearly you don't know how you'll actually be until the situation presents itself.

  2. You know, that's a really interesting way to put it. Most parents really don't consider all of that stuff until right in the middle of it. 'Course, I'm finding that it doesn't matter how much I've planned and thought before becoming a parent; my kids continually surprise me.

    But I also know you. And because I know you, I know that you did a beautiful job in your interview. And I know that if you came across even halfway as thoughtful, child-centered and well-adjusted as you are in real life, then you will be just fine.